In this day and age, I’m not sure. I’ve always though that Steven and I had a pretty equal partnership. I will say I am probably the manager of the household – in terms of physical or organizational aspects – making sure groceries get bought, everybody gets out of bed in the morning, lunches get made, toilets get cleaned, etc., etc. As far as the emotional and spiritual aspects of our home, I feel that we share those responsibilities. As far as making decisions, we usually make them together. However, there have been times where either one of us has put his/her foot down and said, “No, we just can’t do that.”
We’ve never really had a financial leader, though. We both work and contribute to the family financially, but we’ve never been great at really controlling our money. For a long time I paid bills and “managed” the money, but I eventually got so stressed out about money that Steven offered to take it over, and I gladly let him. He makes sure the bills are paid and lets me know when money gets low.
To my surprise and delight, my husband has decided that we’re going to do Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover plan to help us make better financial decisions and to plan financially for the future. I will admit a small part of me wants to say, “You know, I’ve been asking you to do this Dave Ramsey stuff for several years and now all of a sudden YOU’VE decided to do it after telling me no for so long?” But the bigger part of me is really proud of my husband. It’s not easy for a laid-back person to plan ahead with such detail. It’s just not part of the way they work. But Steven has taken initiative and is determined to make us more financially healthy. Last night we sat down and did our budget for this pay period, and it felt so good to account for every dollar. I am so glad that my husband is leading us in this direction.
In addition, I was listening to the radio yesterday and a woman had called in saying that her husband, who was a committed Christian, had just stopped going to church. She wasn’t sure what to do. The DJs (who were men) sort of started talking about how it’s hard for men to sit through a church service and that the language used in church/sermons is more for women. Now, I’ve never heard that from any man before, but maybe it’s true, I don’t know. All I know is that last Sunday my husband stood beside me in church, very quietly praying as his fingers moved across his prayer rope. He will not be happy that I’m posting this because he does not want any attention on him in church. It touches my heart, though, to see my husband praying. Seeing him desire God is a blessing and an encouragement to me and to my children.
Is the man the head of the household? I don’t know that I can answer that. But I can say how thankful I am to have a husband who cares about the financial and spiritual health of our family, who loves and cherishes me and the kids, and who steps up and takes responsibility. Love ya, Steven.