One Day

Eloquence has left me today. I don’t feel like trying to make words sound beautiful.

Here it is: Eleven years ago today, my brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. And it sucks.

But I still love him. My mom says, “Love is stronger than death.” She’s right.

If he were able to visit me, just for one day, here’s what I’d say to him:

“Will, these are my kids. Ephraim is so much like you – full of fun and mischief, bugs his older sister all the time, but is always ready to give her a hug. And this is Madeleine, who has your zest for life and love for zaniness and laughter.

Will, I want you to call me Kris all day long because no one calls me that anymore.

I’m gonna show you the Harry Potter movies and the Lord of the Rings movies and buy you an iPhone just for a day so you can have fun texting all your old friends.

We’re gonna go to the pool and splash around and do swim races like we did so many times growing up. You know, when you always won?

Will, I want you to do your Kramer impression and your donkey hee-haw and I’ll crack up so hard my sides hurt.

I want to watch you act one more time so we’ll put on a play and you’ll be the star and I’ll laugh and cry and hug you at the end.

We’re gonna go to Taco Bell and I’ll spent $50 on soft tacos – no lettuce – just for you! Then we’ll go to Starbucks and I’ll buy you a frappacino because you don’t like the hot stuff.

Will, you know I love you, right? Every, every day. And miss you so much. Thank you, Will. Thank you for teaching me to value everyone in my life. And to enjoy my life.”

And when the day ends, in those last moments, his angel will take his hand and walk him into the sky. And I’ll know that one day I’ll see him again.

“I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself.” – Exodus 19:4


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7 comments

  1. Oh, Karissa, crying with you today. I have two brothers I’ve never met- the first my mom lost at full term, the second at around 20wks. My two brothers- Nathaniel James and John Steven- and I wonder so often what they would’ve been like. Praying to my older brother Nathaniel for his namesake, my first born, and wondering if they pray for my one brother who made it to this world, David, and myself. With each family member who passes I find myself smiling, thinking “they finally are meeting my brothers.”

    We say “Memory Eternal,” but that is what you are doing. Will’s memory is living on through you and your children.

  2. lj says:

    Beautifully expressed, Karissa. I’m so sorry for your loss of your brother. Thankfully, memory can bring our loved ones right here, in the present, even if it is a fleeting moment. Thank you for sharing your heart. Thinking of you today. May his blessed memory be eternal.

  3. Karla says:

    Will would love your children and be so proud of the mother and woman you have become! He would be glad to know that the silly times are still important to you. Praying for you and remembering Will today!

  4. Angela says:

    Little brothers are a glorious thing to us big sisters. I can’t imagine how painful it would be to lose mine. This was a beautiful tribute to him today. Thank you. It makes me appreciate mine all the more.

  5. Chelsea says:

    Hard to read this and not cry. Hard to read this and not smile. I wish I didn’t relate to this. I wish for one more day here quite a lot, but know that one day there will be worth way more than any of them here. I hope the wonderful memories pull you through today and every day.

  6. Sara says:

    Karissa,
    This is so beautiful. Will is missed dearly by so many. Praying for you and Mrs. Jean today especially.

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