This morning we were about to head out the door for church, and Ephraim yelled from the upstairs bathroom, “Mom! C’mere! I need help!” He had had an “accident” and needed to change pants. He’s been having these fairly frequently, and usually they happen in the bathroom. I’ve been thinking that he just waits until the last second to go, and then he doesn’t make it in time. I found out this morning that it’s because he’s been standing up to pee (usually he sits down), which is causing the “accident” problem.
Expert on male urination that I am, as I helped him change I told him, “When you stand up to go, make sure you point it toward the toilet bowl and lean over a little.” I even grabbed his little weiner and showed him how to hold it up. “Mom!” he said in that teenagery-you’re-embarrassing-me-voice. “That’s my private parts! Don’t touch my private parts!” I had to work hard not to bust out laughing. When we got downstairs, I said to Steven, “Um, I need you to give Ephraim some lessons in standing up to pee – like, how to get it in the pot.” All four of us giggled a little.
Once at church, my potty-challenged 4-year-old surprised me with his budding spirituality. During the reading of the Gospels, he said, “I want to read my Gospel,” and went and got his children’s Bible. During the sermon the priest mentioned Jonah and the whale, and Ephraim asked me to help him find the Jonah and the whale page in his bible (the illustration makes the whale look very sea-monsterish, which is perfect for a monster-loving little boy). When I asked if he wanted me to find a picture of Jesus, he pointed to the icon of Jesus at the front of the church. “He’s right there!” he informed me. He asked me to name the saints in some small icons he spotted above a side door of the sanctuary. I was so proud of my Ephraim. My little one is growing up, I thought to myself.
Then he turned to me and pointed to his nose and said, “Mom, I have a booger in my nose and I can’t get it out.”