Coaching in the Home

There have been very few moments when I was as proud of my husband as I was Sunday night. In almost twelve years together, he has gone from part rock star, part introvert 21-year-old to a man of integrity, depth, and amazing people skills. (Not that I didn’t love the rock star Steven.)

As I said in my last post, I attended the volleyball banquet for his players and their parents. I listened to him eloquently explain his visions, goals, and expectations for his team. I listened as he talked with emotion and wisdom about the incomparable experience of making it to State, and the bittersweetness of taking 4th place rather than 1st. I listened as he praised each girl on the team for her individual successes and contributions. I listened as yes, he thanked yours truly for my support.

It was more than a speech, though. It was the image of a man who wanted to do something for somebody else. Who wanted to make an impact in the lives of some teens. Who wanted to teach them how to get out in the world and forge a place for themselves even while keeping fidelity to their faith and morals. Who wanted to create, especially for the seniors on the team, an experience that would stay with them for the rest of their lives.

It seems to me that Steven was able to merge the science and the art of coaching. He was intentional and methodical, yet he still cared about his players and wanted them to care about each other.

I think that coaching model is applicable to our own family. What are our goals for our kids? What do we want the end result to be? When they graduate from high school and leave us, what kind of individuals do we want them to be? What are our goals for our marriage? How do we see our relationship deepening and growing in the future? It’s definitely worth thinking about, and then finding more short-term goals/ideas to help us develop those characteristics in our family.

When it comes to family, the caring part is inherently there, but the intention is the hard part. I find myself craving tradition and structure at home more and more (one way I’m becoming more like my mother as I age – don’t fight it, people, it will happen, and hey, my mom’s a pretty great person anyway). No, I don’t want to become Mom-Nazi, and yes, I want to keep those lazy pajama Saturdays and spontaneous activities. But I am coming to believe that Steven and I can enrich our family life by being more intentional. I am still kind of defining what that will look like, so that part I guess is TBC, but I am glad that Steven has inspired me through his coaching to take a deeper look at how we do family life.