Dear Taylor Swift,
My 7 year old daughter adores you. She has a poster of you on her wall, and she can belt out every word of “Picture to Burn,” “You Belong With Me,” and “We’re Never Getting Back Together,” among other songs. I often take her to the park you paid for in Hendersonville. I point out your name over the slide. For all practical purposes, she thinks you’re a good person. And maybe you are. But I heard about your recent breakup. Wow. That lasted like, 2 seconds. Which is about your average when it comes to relationships.
This is why I really can’t stand you anymore. Your habit is to snap up a guy, hang out with him for 2 months, then abruptly throw him away and go write a humiliating song about him. You are a role model for young girls all over the world. What kind of lesson are you teaching them about love?
You actually admitted that you don’t know how to make a relationship last. Well, I’m not an expert, sister, but with 12 years of marriage under my belt I can at least get you started.
1. Everyone is flawed. Or no one is perfect. Either way, you’re not going to find the one perfect man for you because he doesn’t exist. Even the most compatible person will annoy you – and even hurt you – sometimes. Which leads me to my next point.
2. Love perseveres. Love means you stick around even when your significant other annoys you or hurts you. Things may be tense for a while, but the bad feelings will eventually fade and you will remember why you love that person again. I often think of the saying “this too shall pass” when my husband and I are going through a rough patch. That’s not to say that I don’t try to address the issue – I do – but it means that I have to live with some negative feelings for a few days, knowing that they will pass, and soon we will forget what we were mad at each other about and things will feel okay again. (P.S. Have you ever heard of make up sex? Oh. Sorry. You don’t ever make up with anyone. I forgot for a sec.)
3. Love grows. At your age I was already married and learning what love really is. Sure, I loved my husband before we got married, but it wasn’t until I HAD to stay with him even if he annoyed me or we disagreed on something or I didn’t like his dirty clothes all over the floor that I REALLY started to understand love. Love will get tested, tried, stretched, and challenged, and that will allow it to grow deeper.
4. Love is sacrificial, not self-serving. This is one I’m still learning, and I’m not very good at it yet. But when you love someone, you put him first. You go see the movie he likes. You buy him a special birthday gift instead of buying shoes for yourself. You attend his volleyball and basketball and baseball games even though you don’t like sports. You try to see the world through his eyes and understand his point of view. If he’s being selfless, too, then you will still be doing things you want to do because he’ll want to do the things you like. (At the very least, you have the decency not to ditch him in the middle of a vacation!)
Here’s the thing: I’m seriously thinking about mom-ipulating my daughter into liking different “role model” because you’re just not cutting it. Please, please, please think before jumping into your next relationship. You owe it to yourself, to the poor guys whose hearts you’ve broken, and to all your fans . . . including my little girl.