You know technology has taken over your life when you have to hide from it.

So, I’m trying to lose weight . . . again. Which means I’ve been getting up before work (translate: 4:30 am) to exercise. My alarm clock is set at 4:30, anyway. Then I’ve set my cell phone to 4:35 just to make sure I get up. So one day this week I got sneaky and turned my cell to silent right before bed. Hee hee, I thought. Now that thing won’t wake me up and I can “go back to sleep” after my 4:30 wake-up call.

Um, no. Even when you put an iPhone on silent, if you have an alarm saved, it will ring.

I’ve also signed up for a 5k and am doing Couch to 5K . . . again. So I downloaded an app for it on my phone, and the app is really cool – this pleasant woman’s voice tells you when to walk and when to run. I thought I was tricking it when I “did” my cool-down in the car while driving. I’ll just leave the clock ticking, I thought. The phone won’t know.

The phone knows. It won’t actually log your training unless you have the location/gps feature turned on so it can make sure you’re actually running and not just, um, laying your phone on the passengers seat with the timer running. The thing is that I prefer not to have that feature of my phone turned on because then Facebook knows where I am.

No matter what I do, technology is smarter than me. It is watching. And listening. And forcing me to hide in the closet, scared of being found out and wishing the back wall of the closet would morph into a beautiful technology-less world.