It Hurts to Grow Up

Have you ever heard that song by Ben Folds?

This week it’s been hard to like being a grown-up. I met with someone to work on getting speech services for Madeleine, (thankfully the public schools will provide speech services for students in private schools!) and now I have to start the process for Ephraim. Is it bad that there is this tiny part of me that doesn’t like that my children are different? Neither of them have what I would call major speech issues, but enough that they need a little intervention. Plus, the guilt always creeps in: Did I do something wrong? Did I not do something I should have done? 

Then Ephraim has had some big behavior issues at school this week. Well, let’s just say it: he has issues at home, too. He’s 4. He’s rambunctious like any boy. But sometimes I feel like we try everything we can think of and it still doesn’t help him change his actions.

Work has been pretty stressful too this week. I’ve had some long work days and some challenges. However, on Tuesday, a teacher said to me, “You are such a blessing!” That little comment has gotten me through the hard moments this week. God bless that teacher!

Some days it would be easier to jump into a pavement picture and go on a carousel ride. How I miss the carefree wonder and joy that come with being a child!

Thankfully, I have my own two young children to bring me back to that unbridled love for life. I had an hour of Flex Time today that I used to go have lunch with my kids at school. I have never gotten to do that before. It was a gift – seeing those eyes light up at the sight of Mommy in the cafeteria, getting those hugs and kisses. My children teach me every day to hold tightly to that childlike faith in the goodness of life, the longness of time, the beauty of each moment.

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