Searching for female BFF for thirty-something married mother of two. Must have at least average intelligence and above average wit. Must be able to take phone calls from me at any time of day or night, and give me the appropriate pep talk for whatever my current crisis is. Must be available to meet me for ice cream, coffee, or drinks with 30 minutes notice. (Yes, your kids can come, too. Well, maybe not for drinks.) Must be willing to lend me a diaper, a wet wipe, and/or a Capri Sun for the kids if I run out. Willingness to be silly a plus. Ability to make me laugh a plus. Reader of books preferable, but not necessary. I do not discriminate based on age, height, weight, clothes, bad hair days, face wrinkles, messy living rooms, unruly children, or dirty vehicles.
I wonder if married people still have best friends. I feel like I don’t have the time to even be a good best friend even if I had one.
During my life I feel like I’ve had several “best friends.” I had a best friend (or two) for each place that I lived. Texas: Cara. Missouri: Allison. Thailand: Beth and Siripawn. Furlough year in Nashville: Karla and Heather. College: Amanda and Susan.
I still call the last two my best friends even though they don’t live near me anymore, and to be honest, I communicate with them mostly via Facebook. I still love and treasure these gals so much, but I’m guilty of letting physical distance turn into emotional distance. I know. I need to pick up the phone and call my girls.
Nowadays, cookouts and potlucks with other couples (and all our kids) tend to be the bulk of my quality friend time. I occasionally attend a moms’ night out with the church gals or meet a few friends for dinner. While I’m thankful for the times I get to hang out with these girls, I’m not sure any of them would call me their “best friend.”
This leads me back to my original thought: Do married women have best friends anymore? Or do we just have groups of friends we occasionally hang out with? Is my husband supposed to be my best friend? He is, in a way, but every girl needs female friends, too. Am I an anomaly here? Or is it normal to feel a longing for that one friend that is always just there?
Truthfully, some of the stuff in my “ad” above probably is unrealistic anyway. I’m not gonna call somebody after 9 PM. Probably because I’ll be asleep. Plus, with kids and ball games and all that extracurricular stuff, who can just drop everything to run to Starbucks for a cuppa with the bestie? But that’s what I want. That’s what I miss. I miss spur-of-the-moment. I miss silly girl talks. I miss spontaneity. I miss the long, deep talks over mugs of hot chocolate. I miss the joy and relief of spending time with a kindred spirit. I’m Anne, and even though I’ve got my Gilbert, I still need my Diana.
“Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” – Aristotle